In a house on the other side of the world, there lived a very beautiful girl. She took may suitors as husbands, but one by one they perished by the tricks of her father. Her father was very cruel and possessive of her beauty, not believing any man was good enough for her. At last, only one husband remained. His features were light in comparison to her midnight black hair and dark chestnut eyes, but she was determined to help him survive the tests of her father.
One evening, the father invited the husband over to his house for dinner, expecting to rid himself of his son-in-law once and for all.
"You must absolutely not wear your shoes inside his house." the wife warned. "Although the ground looks calm, you will burn up if your shoes touch the carpet."
When the son arrived, he followed the father inside. "There is no need for you to remove your shoes here, I will take no disrespect." the father urged. But the son, aware of his tricks, vehemently insisted.
Brushing off his annoyance, the father lead the son-in-law into the kitchen for dinner. As they sat down to eat, the son-in-law remembered something else his wife told him, "Never ever stick your chopsticks straight up in your bowl of rice. If you do, that room will become your funeral pyre".
Throughout the dinner, the husband made sure to always put his chopsticks down next to him, never in his bowl of rice. This annoyed the father even more, who had eliminated a large number of suitors due to their uncultured practices.
"You can just leave the dishes in the dishwasher, no need to clean them right now." the father said nonchalantly, for he knew that when the son-in-law opened the dishwasher, a large flame would consume him and he would perish.
Aware of this danger thanks to the advice of his wife, the son-in-law instead took all the dishes up and washed them by hand until each piece was sparkling clean.
For the final test, the father popped open a bottle of alcohol and invited the husband to drink with him. No matter how well-mannered this man is, no man can out-drink me, he thought. So began what seemed like an endless round of drink pouring and shot taking. While the father had an enormous tolerance for alcohol, he had one weakness that the husband didn't: the more he drank, the redder his face got. The husband's head became fuzzy and he could no longer see straight, but he stayed cool-headed, fighting down the nausea and focusing on returning home to his wife.
When the bottle was almost empty, the father called for the son-in-law's surrender, swearing that he would allow the two of them to live together in peace. But the son-in-law refused; he was determined to beat the father once and for all. The wife wanted this, too, for she went through a cruel and hard childhood. Her father often sold her out to many of his friends, making her work like a slave in their family restaurants without pay.
So the drinking continued late into the night, until at last the father could take no more. Beads of sweat boiled down his face, which was now redder than a tomato. Dropping his glass, the father bowled over and passed out.
Victorious, the husband stumbled out of the house and called a Grab to come get him. Eyelids heavy, he managed to make it back to his own home where his beautiful wife was waiting. Her eyes lit up when she saw him, for she knew the dishonor of being out-drunk by a Western man would be too much for her father to ever show his face in their town again.
With the father in-in-law out of the picture, the husband and wife went on to live a very long and happy life.
Myths and Folklore of the Timiskaming Alogonquin and Timagami Ojibwa, T.G. Speck (1915). Web Source.
Author's Note: This original tale was a bit more brutal and serious than mine, but the main idea was the same. A father wanted to get rid of a son-in-law by playing all these tricks on him, but the wife helped him overcome all of them. I thought this was a funny concept, so I completely retold it using some inside jokes of sorts from the Asian community. I tried to imply that the husband wasn't Asian (and therefore would not know polite customs) and had the wife help him. Shoes in the house are super disrespectful across all Asian countries. Sticking your chopsticks in rice looks like a Japanese funeral pyre and is considered and a bad omen. Asians never use the dishwasher, and you didn't have a real childhood if your parents didn't make you work in a resteraunt without pay. Also, Asian dads love drinking more than anything, but RIP that Asian flush. Grab is the Asian version of Uber (if you're ever in Asia, the more you know!). This isn't meant to be too serious, and I hope it was an entertaining read!
One evening, the father invited the husband over to his house for dinner, expecting to rid himself of his son-in-law once and for all.
"You must absolutely not wear your shoes inside his house." the wife warned. "Although the ground looks calm, you will burn up if your shoes touch the carpet."
When the son arrived, he followed the father inside. "There is no need for you to remove your shoes here, I will take no disrespect." the father urged. But the son, aware of his tricks, vehemently insisted.
Brushing off his annoyance, the father lead the son-in-law into the kitchen for dinner. As they sat down to eat, the son-in-law remembered something else his wife told him, "Never ever stick your chopsticks straight up in your bowl of rice. If you do, that room will become your funeral pyre".
Throughout the dinner, the husband made sure to always put his chopsticks down next to him, never in his bowl of rice. This annoyed the father even more, who had eliminated a large number of suitors due to their uncultured practices.
Bowl of Rice; A. Ortega
"You can just leave the dishes in the dishwasher, no need to clean them right now." the father said nonchalantly, for he knew that when the son-in-law opened the dishwasher, a large flame would consume him and he would perish.
Aware of this danger thanks to the advice of his wife, the son-in-law instead took all the dishes up and washed them by hand until each piece was sparkling clean.
For the final test, the father popped open a bottle of alcohol and invited the husband to drink with him. No matter how well-mannered this man is, no man can out-drink me, he thought. So began what seemed like an endless round of drink pouring and shot taking. While the father had an enormous tolerance for alcohol, he had one weakness that the husband didn't: the more he drank, the redder his face got. The husband's head became fuzzy and he could no longer see straight, but he stayed cool-headed, fighting down the nausea and focusing on returning home to his wife.
When the bottle was almost empty, the father called for the son-in-law's surrender, swearing that he would allow the two of them to live together in peace. But the son-in-law refused; he was determined to beat the father once and for all. The wife wanted this, too, for she went through a cruel and hard childhood. Her father often sold her out to many of his friends, making her work like a slave in their family restaurants without pay.
So the drinking continued late into the night, until at last the father could take no more. Beads of sweat boiled down his face, which was now redder than a tomato. Dropping his glass, the father bowled over and passed out.
Victorious, the husband stumbled out of the house and called a Grab to come get him. Eyelids heavy, he managed to make it back to his own home where his beautiful wife was waiting. Her eyes lit up when she saw him, for she knew the dishonor of being out-drunk by a Western man would be too much for her father to ever show his face in their town again.
With the father in-in-law out of the picture, the husband and wife went on to live a very long and happy life.
Traditional Chinese double happiness symbol.
Myths and Folklore of the Timiskaming Alogonquin and Timagami Ojibwa, T.G. Speck (1915). Web Source.
Author's Note: This original tale was a bit more brutal and serious than mine, but the main idea was the same. A father wanted to get rid of a son-in-law by playing all these tricks on him, but the wife helped him overcome all of them. I thought this was a funny concept, so I completely retold it using some inside jokes of sorts from the Asian community. I tried to imply that the husband wasn't Asian (and therefore would not know polite customs) and had the wife help him. Shoes in the house are super disrespectful across all Asian countries. Sticking your chopsticks in rice looks like a Japanese funeral pyre and is considered and a bad omen. Asians never use the dishwasher, and you didn't have a real childhood if your parents didn't make you work in a resteraunt without pay. Also, Asian dads love drinking more than anything, but RIP that Asian flush. Grab is the Asian version of Uber (if you're ever in Asia, the more you know!). This isn't meant to be too serious, and I hope it was an entertaining read!
Hi Moriah,
ReplyDeleteThis story was hilarious. Being Asian, I definitely got all the jokes and tricks the dad was trying to play. I cannot imagine how brutal and serious the original story could be, especially since I thought this story was horrifying. Opening the dishwasher would lead to a large flame engulfing the husband wow! What a vicious father, it was very sad! You just had some spelling errors, but overall, it was good. I was a little confused at why the suitors would even visit her father if they were already married to the girl. Not meeting the father would have saved more lives haha. Can't wait to read more.
Hey Moriah,
ReplyDeleteThis story was really fun and funny to read! I honestly cannot imagine what the original story must have been like! I really like your writing style! It is very unique and feels very easy to read and flows very well. There were a few grammatical errors here and there, but other than that, it was really great and fun to read! I can't wait to get to read some more of your stories! Have a great day and rest of the semester!
Hi Moriah,
ReplyDeleteOh my god I loved your story. As a half Korean I myself am a sufferer of the asian flush so I laughed out loud when I got to that part of the story. I also loved your author's note. It did a really good job of explaining your story and the changes you made. I related hard to the dishwasher note. Keep up the great work!
Hey Moriah!
ReplyDeleteYour story absolutely cracked me up--that dad really wanted to kill another of his son-in-laws!!! The image of a fire ball coming out of a dishwasher made me laugh so hard!!! Anyway, I don't even think I want to know what the original story was like if it was worse than this--I wonder how many husbands this woman went through due to her crazy father! Great job making this serious story funny and amusing!